Testimonials
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Testimonials

Henry Ford may have been a right-wing, union-bashing, anti-Semitic scumbag but he made a good point when he claimed: "It is not the employer who pays the wages. Employers only handle the money. It is the customer who pays the wages."

 

Rhesus Park always puts customer service at the forefront of its thoughts and nothing brings a bigger smile to our staff's collective face than a satisfied punter.

 

From A-list stars such as BBC presenter Chris Packham to the scum who come to throw peanuts at our gorillas, we welcome any feedback we can get. Here's what people have said about Rhesus Park over the years...

 

 

Celebrities

 

 

"I like the look of your place, some truly gifted staff"

(Chris Packham, BBC star of the Really Wild Show and Springwatch)

 

"You lot are mad. Completely and utterly brilliantly mad!"

(Ed Gillespie, Guardian journalist)

 

"I love the idea of accident prone chimps"

(Ben Cavey, top television producer and writer)

 

"God bless you for taking care of such a beautiful animal"

(Renowned animal psychologist Dr Ted Adzelan)

 

Politicians

 

 

"Their WMDs could wipe out Shropshire in 15 minutes, we must act swiftly and brutally to snuff out this menace"

(Former Prime Minister Tory Blair)

 

"Charges not proven"

(Parliamentary Select Committee on Animal Cruelty)

 

"No longer a death trap"

(Shropshire Council health and safety report)

 

"Too many immigrant apes"

(UKIP prospective candidate)

 

"A place of refuge in my time of eternal darkness"

(Former Prime Minister Edward Heath)

 

 

Paying punters

 

 

"I've never seen so many sexually frustrated simians"

(Charlie Winstanley, Reading)

 

 

"Beats the shite out of Blair Drummond Safari Park"

(Hamish McCrorie, Stirling)

 

 

"I've sent you bastards a cheque for my tetanus jabs"

(Roger Gibson, London)

 

 

"Watching gorilla rape is now off my Bucket List."

(Frank Heaton Birmingham)

 

 

"Like a David Attenborough programme, directed by Satan"

(Debbie Dawson, Shrewsbury)

 

 

"Haven't had this much fun since my foreign legion days"

(Patrice Foucard, Edinburgh)

 

 

"Hail to the chimps"

(Joey Jojo Juju, Kendal)

 

"Hairy magnificence without a peer"

(Marcus Haverstaffe, Barnstable)

Now It's Your Turn

Use this form to give us feedback on your visit to Rhesus Park and any queries or grievances you may have arising from your time here.

However, we would like to stress that all enquries about matters relating to Operation Yewtree and Clemente Kurva's alleged war crimes should be sent to the relative authorities.